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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
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The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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