Facts with the tag "animals" | Chuck Norris Facts

Facts with the tag "animals"

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.

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Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it!

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Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

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Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

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On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard.

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As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

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