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A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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4.7
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The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
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3.7
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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3.8
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If you're driving down the road and you think Chuck Norris just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
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For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
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Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
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4.3
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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4.6
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris
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