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Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
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They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
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Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.
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Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
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Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.
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Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
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Chuck Norris build the hospital he was born in.
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